Episode 08: Being Vulnerable as a Man | Dave Regula

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Dave Regula is one of my best friends and the husband of Lauren Bay Regula, who was my guest back in episode 3. We discuss a lot of the same events in this episode as I discussed with Lauren, but it’s interesting to hear how two people in a relationship can interpret the same event completely differently. Specifically, for men, it can be hard to show up in the way that we want to — we’re expected to show up as the rock or provider — but in doing that, we don’t allow other people in. But I’m getting ahead of myself — first, let’s take a step back and learn a little bit more about Dave. 

In 1998, everyone was into investment banking, and the best place to do that was in New York. Wanting to swim against the current and do his own thing, though, Dave moved to Chicago and dove head-first into the financial industry. The trading pit felt like an extension of the locker room — hyper-competitive, all men, and very team-oriented. And he was fortunate to have a good leader who knew when to draw the line when there was work to be done. Some of the people Dave knew who got jobs at different companies got into real trouble. Some of them are dead. Dave was blessed to be riding with the right group of people.

It got to a point that, one day, Dave realized he was feeling stuck as a human being. He wasn’t feeling as advanced as he would have liked in his personal life — fulfillment, education, relationships, nutrition — and the more he started looking into that, he knew he had to cut ties with his old life. He opened a gym and dove deep into fitness. 

But once that was in place, he realized there was a bigger picture. Health changes weren’t sticking, people’s experiences weren’t ramping up with their health, and they weren’t living lives they were proud of. And that’s where his direction in life came into focus — helping people through all aspects of their life and build upon one another to achieve fulfillment.

We Discuss:

  • 04:13 - Not knowing what to do with your life

  • 07:52 - When you know you have to make a change

  • 14:41 - Bouncing back from a rock-bottom moment

  • 23:48 - The part ego plays in your life

  • 31:21 - Moving beyond fitness and expanding

  • 35:49 - Finding the support you need

  • 41:12 - Making the decision to go to the Olympics as a parent

  • 50:24 - Trying to keep up your life without your partner

  • 56:11 - Admitting when things are hard

  • 01:05:12 - How Dave lives his life today

  • 01:09:32 - Wanting to feel more than just happy

  • 01:17:38 - Connection is the most important thing

  • 01:19:29 - Sharing your thoughts with those closest to you

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Episode 09: Rediscover the Healing Art of Music | Poranguí

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Episode 07: You Have to Move Forward | Lance Armstrong